THE INNER-CRITIC

THE INNER-CRITIC

One of the greatest deterrents to creativity is the inner voice that constantly whispers in our ear that we're not good enough, that nobody will approve of what we're doing, and that they don't really like us anyway.

This "inner-critic" becomes our constant companion, not only in our work, but in everything we do.

The inner-critic begins as a survival mechanism. When we're children, part of our parents' job is to teach us socially acceptable behaviour. In doing so, even the best parents inevitably curb our natural instincts.

This makes us feel that there must be something innately wrong with us, and it hurts or shames us. In order to avoid future pain, we start telling ourselves what's wrong with us before others in our world get around to it.

As we grow up, we internalize all those outer voices, the criticisms and limiters on our natural behaviour. This becomes our "inner critic," whose job is to store all the rules and then chastise us for not following them.

Ironically, our inner voice can become harsher and more persistent than the outer ones ever were. We punish ourselves emotionally and sometimes physically with such things as addictions. What began as a protector becomes a destroyer.
 

The inner critic will show up at different times and in different ways. One minute, it will tell us how hopeless we are, and the next, how much better we are than everyone else. It will appear more commonly in some areas of our lives -- usually the ones we feel less secure about -- than others. It will often speak up when we're feeling tired or threatened, and when things are going well and we feel good about ourselves, it'll remind us that we'll never be able to sustain it. When we're in the throes of creating, the vulnerability we feel is an open door for the critic to step in and judge us and our work. 

 

The first step in dealing with the inner critic is to recognize it as a separate entity from yourself. It is a voice within you, but it's not you. This voice has been your constant companion since childhood, and it's likely so much a part of you, like the air you breathe, that you hardly even notice it. 

Realize that these are the combined voices of all the authority figures you grew up with -- parents, teachers, religious leaders or just about any adult. When you were small, not heeding these voices could result in physical or emotional pain or humiliation.

Your inner critic may even reflect the voices of childhood friends. We all wanted so desperately to belong, yet most of us are not strangers to being hurt or humiliated because we were different. 

Become your own authority.

By listening to inner and outer critics, you give them power over you. What gives their opinions more weight than yours? When you were a child, it could be devastating, a seeming threat to your survival, to lose the approval of parents and teachers. But you're an adult now with a much wider range of choices and capabilities. It might hurt to lose outside approval, but you don't need it to survive. 

While you can learn technique and skills, true creativity is unique to you, and you need to follow your own muse. That's how we achieve innovation of expression in the arts. In order to be part of society, certain behaviour is expected. But in order to individuate, to live your life by your own ideas and values, you need to break away from its standards, at least for a time. That can be painful, but it can also afford you tremendous freedom.
 

As an adult, you know when and how you need to control yourself and when you can let loose. You have the maturity to discern that for yourself and no longer need arbitrary rules. There are still many places where you need to control your behaviour, but your creativity can be one place where you can safely express yourself without limits –

As long as you keep your inner-critic in check!